Our first friendship must be with Jesus first and foremost. If we hook the hope of our hearts to people and friend's around us, we will always be disappointed. No one is able to be our MESSIAH NOT our husbands, children, family or friends.
Yes we should be thankful for the people whom God places in our lives. Yes we should love them dearly. Yes we should treat them with honor and respect. We should also do ALL we can to maintain the unity and peace in our relationships. We should be willing to give to and serve them. We should be open with each other as we speak into each others lives. We need to recognize we were designed to live in loving community with others. However we CANNOT look to others to provide for us what only GOD can provide.
There are MANY, (I've been in a few) many Christian relationships that are hurtful, painful, and marked with conflict and disappointment because the people in these relationships were placing a burden on the relationships that no human relationship can bear. Here are some things we can't EXPECT of others........
*NO person can be the source of our identity.
*NO one can be the basis or reason for our happiness.
*NO individual can give us a reason for getting up every day.
*NO loved one can be the carrier of our hope.
*NO one is able to heal/ change us from the inside out.
*NO human can alter our past.
*NO person can atone us of our wrongs .
*NO one can give us a heart of peace and rest.
Asking another person to do those things is like requiring them to be the fourth member of the trinity of God and then judging them when they fall short. It simply cannot and will not work and will put so much undo pressure on those relationships.
You see, it is vital for us to remember that human love is a wonderful thing yes, but we will only ever find life - real, heart changing, soul satisfying life in a vertical relationship with our heavenly Father. We absolutely should enjoy human love, but we should look only to God for spiritual vitality and strength. Yes we should commit to long-term, loving, mutually serving relationships, but we MUST remember that only God can save us, change us, and deliver us from ourselves. We should be willing to make sacrifices of love for others, but we cannot place our hope only in these relationships only in the the once-and-for -all sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ.
I have been guilty of past relationships where I have expected to much out of that relationship and the relationship suffered because of it. SO let's ask ourselves the following questions-
*Could it be that the disappointments in our current relationships or past relationships are because of an unrealistic and unattainable expectation on those relationships?
*Could it be because we have unwittingly put people in God's place?
*Could it be that we are asking those relationships to do what only GOD CAN DO?
There is but ONE Savior, and He is ours forever.
We don't need to place that burden on the people in our lives.
Read 2 Timothy 4:9-18
Let's not expect more from our relationships then they are capable of giving. I know some of my relationships would be healthy and still a relationship today if I would have got these truths right.