07 May

This blog and soon to be podcast have both been birthed out of a strong desire to share with other sisters and brothers alike that we can have HOLY MARRIAGES that thrive not just survive. 

About 7 or 8 years ago I was in a place of panic, uncertainty  and disbelief that so many marriages in "The Church" were not as they were suppose to be in fact NOT EVEN CLOSE and mine was one of those marriages . Many were hanging on by a thread, many were sinning WITHIN their marriages, many were disrespectful and MANY were falling prey to DIVORCE as much  if not more than that of the secular world. 

The saddest part in ALL of this is we as "THE CHURCH" ignore this cover it up hide it and plain and simply just do NOT talk about it at all therefore many like me did not want to ever admit that my marriage was also in big trouble. 

My story is one of many in fact, I have heard often by MANY women and being in women's ministry for years, bible study leader for years and the blessing of knowing and being invited by women to MANY other churches  all that to say I have been in MANY circles of "Christian Woman" and the theme was the same for 8 out of 10 women they were ALL hanging on by a thread in their marriages. 

The theme was the same my husband this, my husband that, if I could divorce I would. Sex seemed to be lacking in 9 out of 10 marriages, many women confided their husbands had porn addictions another area I feel the church MUST take a bigger stand in. 

Another huge area I saw lacking is older women in the church teaching the younger women to LOVE THIER HUSBANDS and children and how to be a godly wife and mother. 

Men y'all are not off the hook either I don't see accountability and exposure that should be happening instead we sweep under rug and we do not offer the actual help these couples NEED which is NOT another fluffy bible study. 

I am going to share the in depth parts of our marriage from my sinful ways to an emotional affair (which was mine btw not my husbands) that almost could have gone to far and a divorce around the corner all while serving in "leadership"  position at church which BTW happens far more often than one might think!

Thankfully to God prompting me to finally come clean to church staff to go to counseling which btw I went to church counseling but have also sought out  intense therapy outside of church as well for last 4 years. Therapy is important I can't say that enough this is also something that seems taboo in churches. 

Friend's I promise we can and should have marriages that thrive and being on the other side and thriving in our 26 plus years of marriage I want to share with y'all how we did it and how you to can do it. In Fact we MUST our marriages have a calling and I am going to share this now below- 

This is a place to start in every marriage today: 

1. Prayer- (together) Phil. 4:6-7   when we pray together we stay together. I can't tell you how many women say their husbands do not pray with them and they pray individually or not at all. 

2. LOVE - Matthew 22:37-40 friends love is not a feeling or something we fall into it's a command from our God. We are to love each other well and love God.   

3. Forgiveness- Col. 3:13 bare with one another friends it's a command and starts with our husbands and wives. 

4. Trust- not blind trust it's a process we trust God with our hearts and that He is working in our spouses. So women we need our relationship with God to be healthy and this is where we go in all areas even where our marriages lack.  Proverbs 3:5-6 

5. Purity- Hebrews 13:4 in our marriages lot's to unpack in this area. We lose our ministry in marriage when we defile this area.

6. Generosity-  2 Corinthians 9:6-7  we must be cheerful givers starting in the home my friends. Starting with our spouses and wives this is important hear me please we are to give and serve even when our husbands are not it's never to be a tit for tat this is sinful behavior. 

This is just the start we will unpack this in detail week after week beginning next week and when podcast begins.  


Cindy B. 

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