What Does The Biblical Wife Look Like?
Before we dive into what a biblical wife/homemaker looks like , Let me start by saying I am very aware of the RARE read that again the RARE occasions when the woman/wife must work outside the home here are the few instances:
1- Widowed
2- Abandoned
3- Husband has been injured in a way that makes him unable to work.
4- Single Mom
5- If You have NO Kids yet or your kids are somewhat older and you and hubby are in agreement that its ok for you to be working supplementing a bit of money, however it is NOT getting in the way of your Homemaking duties.
Now all that being said lets break this down a bit. I have been in women's ministry for 20 plus years now and have seen the decline in the home life of Christians triple in that time and the majority of my findings is we are not functioning as God has called us to.
I hear often it's 2021 Cindy it's to hard in a one income family and the best one yet "I want to have my own career" mmmmmm ouch.
To be clear God's Word remains the SAME and Is TRUE YESTERDAY, TODAY AND FOREVER therefore we are NOT to adjust it to fit into 2021 or to fit into our little boxes. You can justify why you work all you want but if it is NOT apart of the 5 reasons I opened with, I challenge you into the fact you are probably frustrated, tired and stressed because your NOT operating in God's Perfect DIVINE WILL for your life as a WOMAN of GOD. What might that divine order be some may ask let me share.
First MEN (read that again) It's the MEN whom are called to work/toil if you look up the word toil biblically it says- 1 : to work hard and long. 2 : to proceed with laborious effort : plod. transitive verb. 1 archaic : overwork. Defined in Webster Dictionary as such: work extremely hard or incessantly. So just in that it is the men whom should be working and working to exhaustion and so many times I am hearing more and more today that men are staying home to be with the kids and the women are going to "find themselves in their careers" not in the divine order at all and you can argue with me all you want it's God's divine order not mine.
Friend's I have heard it ALL trust me and I am not judging there is a season our priorities were all out of whack and I worked outside the home for a significant amount of time as well and I can tell you the extra MONEY was not and is not worth the chaos and exhaustion the fights and attacks from enemy that comes from "trying to do it all". If our family of 10 can make it on one income SO CAN YOUR FAMILY it's all choices you and I make.
Let's get into the Divine Order God has for us and ask yourself am I struggling in life because I am NOT operating in this order God has for our lives and be HONEST as well as realizing God's Divine Order is not a suggestion it is how he calls the Christian Family to live period the end.
Ladies let's talk about our priorities shall we,
Priority #1 first and foremost above ALL else GOD the relationship we have with God MUST be DAILY (not just at church functions) and MUST come first.
"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." (Matt. 6:33)
His command to us is to seek Him first not later not when we find time not at the end of our day when we are at the end of ourselves but FIRST. In my 24 years of being in ministry I myself have been guilty of this and still see many fall into the trap of mistaking or even substituting ACTIVITY for God as a relationship with God, on the outside we are busy busy running HOLY HURDLES, yet on the inside their relationship with the Father is at a standstill. Ladies in this world and ESPECIALLY 2021 we must sit at the feet of Jesus daily and pray and seek His face on how we are to do life in this crazy sinful evil world. Prayer though is WORK and takes time and we must be still and know that He is God it's in the stillness and quietness we hear His still small voice.
Priority #2 Our Husbands- "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband." (Prov.12:4)
We are called to be their Helpmates and let me be crystal clear we are equal we were never created to be beneath them however ladies we have different roles read that again and understand what it means different roles not equal roles another area of mass confusion and where we even in the church have allowed traits of FEMINISM to break through and this is DANGEROUS and not in the Divine order of God. Please know we as wives our a counterpart to our husbands not a slave we are to compliment one another and become whole. Our husbands should be second only to God in our hearts is your husband first in your heart or is it your career your ministry or even the kids????
Priority #3 Children -"Children our a GIFT from God." (Ps. 127:3)
Our children if we are blessed to have them come next and friends this will ruffle feathers yet again but it's God's truth not my own, It is our duty and responsibility to raise our own children, not daycare, not churches, not schools and certainly not the government solely OURS. Can we inquire help absolutely it takes a village.
But for 18 years it's mostly our job and responsibility and it's a FULL TIME JOB leaving little time for a job of our own and in my opinion we must make that sacrifice if we are having children otherwise maybe think twice before having them.
Priority#4 - HOME - "She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness." (Prov. 31:27)
This is our responsibility to keep a clean orderly home filled with peace and unity and NOT chaos. This looks different for each of us maybe planners work best for you or a system of some sorts but our home and the caring of it is to come in this order and not placed on a back burner because we have deemed ourselves as BUSY!!!
Priority #5 YOURSELF- "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Matt. 19:19)
We must take care of ourselves and not feel guilty in doing so everyone needs time alone- time to be still before the Lord, time to read, to indulge in a hobby, or just to be and do nothing. Trust me no one can be their best if your cup is on empty we must refuel to be our best to fill others up as well.
Priority #6 NOW we discuss OUTSIDE THE HOME- "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations." (Matt. 28:19)
This area is all other things friends- it's church, ministry, work and such and this is where it gets all complicated for many and we justify it's a church thing so God want's me to do it right??? or I have to work because my hubby won't or isn't providing what's needed be careful not to ENABLE and as for it's a ministry thing so it's ok Well not always, you see this is how I make all outside decisions I ask myself this, "will saying yes to anything outside of the home affect my relationship with God, Husband, Children, home responsibilities, and taking care of me if so I may not be able to say yes at this time and that's ok.'
Now before you have a fit let me say there are times we can re-adjust our priorities such as an in home job or out of home part-time job as children are older and able to somewhat take care of themselves. I do want to just remind us all moms, I know it's hard being a SHM but it's so rewarding in the end and the time is very fleeting and we can never ever get those young years with our children back again ever so please take it from a mom with 8 children and one grandchild the time spent with them is so much better and more important in the eyes of our Father than the work I wasted my time doing and regret that time away from my kids especially the older ones.
Let's make a life that counts for our kids and leave a legacy and not my mom was always busy busy and cranky.
Please know I am happy to address any and all of this in detail and give even more bible verses in support to this if you would like just message me and I will respond when able.
BLESSINGS,
Your Sis in Christ,
Cindy