Why is Friendship Hard?

27 Feb

27Feb

Why is it so much harder as adults to make and keep Good Friends?? This is a question I have asked myself a lot lately.

As a child and young lady it was easy to make and keep friends but as the years have gone on it has become less and less easy to find and to have real friendships.

Do you wonder why as I do ? I believe MANY factors play into this in today's world. One as we become adults and have children it becomes less easy to find and maintain friendship. I also believe being used and HURT in the past also makes it more complexed as many build walls to protect themselves I know I am guilty of just that. I also believe we don't make the effort anymore friendship true deep friendship takes work. We need to put the time and effort into them.

One of the BIGGEST contributing factors is the INTERNET we feel as though we are good and have so many friends online that doing anything OFFLINE is NOT needed well that's a HUGE problem and it's actually NOT REAL FRIENDSHIP especially if you have NEVER met them in person and outside of being behind a screen.

REAL FRIENDSHIP, the kind GOD speaks about is actually DOING LIFE with those friends and that also means OUTSIDE THE FOUR WALLS of CHURCH.

You see Jesus never had excuses of being to busy or not having enough time He Knew the IMPORTANCE of TRUE FELLOWSHIP and HE was in fellowship with the twelve disciples teaching together sitting and breaking bread OFTEN praying together all the time it's important.

Remember the account in the bible where friends went to a rooftop of a house to lower their "friend" to see Jesus? When Jesus saw the FAITH of the mans friends He decided to HEAL the paralytic. It was the faith of the friends that Jesus saw it was their determination that caught Jesus' eye. So friendship is so important as the type of "friends" we keep. (Luke 5:17-25)

Can y'all imagine if we only had an online relationship with our husbands or children, our relationships would be terrible to say the least. We were created for relationship for touch and interaction and that is limited on online relationships.

Please don't get me wrong I love my online relationships some of us are long distance and it's the only way to stay in touch however it is of utmost importance to have actual IN PERSON FRIENDSHIPS as well.

God's Word is filled with the proof of just this, in

Ecclesiastes 4:9

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor."

Proverbs 27:10

"Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family, and do not go to your relative’s house when disaster strikes you—better a neighbor nearby than a relative far away."

Ecclesiastes 4:10

"If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

ONLINE folks cannot pick us up..........

1 Samuel 18:3–4

“Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that he was wearing, and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt.”The Good News: The friendship of Jonathan and David — unbreakable despite the hostility of Jonathan’s father Saul — models God’s wish for His people.

1 John 3:16

“We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.”The Good News: Jesus’s s

acrifice on the cross inspires us to sacrifice for others.

3 John 1:5

“Beloved, you do faithfully whatever you do for the friends, even though they are strangers to you.”The Good News: Jesus calls us all to welcome strangers and treat them as friends.

Proverbs 17:9

“One who forgives an affront fosters friendship, but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend.”The Good News: Be kind and forgiving and you will have many devoted friends; hold grudges and you will lose them.

John 13:34-35

“I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”The Good News: The most fundamental message of Jesus is that we must love and care for one another.

I don't believe we are effectively caring for one another online in fact online we tend to be loosey goosey with what we say because were behind a screen.

Ruth 1:16

“But Ruth said. . . ‘Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God.’”The Good News: Widowed Ruth leaves her home and family to travel to a foreign land with her mother-in-law Naomi, one of the Bible’s most stirring examples of loyal friendship.

John 15:13

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”The Good News: The sacrifice of Jesus represents the ultimate act of friendship.

Proverbs 18:24

“Some friends play at friendship but a true friend sticks closer than one’s nearest kin.”The Good News: True friends will be with you through life’s most soul-shaking changes.

We were never created to go at this life alone God even created a help mate for Adam because He said it is not good for man to DWELL ALONE.

Now we will have many acquaintances and people that come and go because that's just life some will come for a season some for a reason and when lucky for a lifetime and these are the ones that are TRUE LASTING LOYAL friends and we do have to be careful with these friendships the ones in the inner circle........

God's Word says the following about the friendships we keep;

Proverbs 18:24

“Some friends play at friendship but a true friend sticks closer than one’s nearest kin.”The Good News: True friends will be with you through life’s most soul-shaking changes.

Proverbs 17:9

Proverbs 12:16

“A righteous man is cautious in friendship, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."The Good News: If you choose the right friends, they will lead you down the right path. And vice versa.

Proverbs 22:24-25

"Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared."The Good News: Choose your friends wisely and avoid those who are quick to anger, or that anger may affect you.

Proverbs 16:28

"A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends." The Good News: Gossip is the mark of a bad friend.

His Word also says choose your friends wisely, because BAD company will corrupt good morals over time. 1 Corinthians 15:33

It's important to be friendly but to have deep friendships with other women who will be safe to tell us when we need to snap out of it to pray fervently for us to tell us when we are behaving in a way that is fleshy. To be a trusted friend not sharing with others the things shared with us.

Here are just a few scriptures on how to be a GODLY FRIEND-

John 15:13

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”The Good News: The sacrifice of Jesus represents the ultimate act of friends

1 John 3:16

“We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.”The Good News: Jesus’s sacrifice on the cross inspires us to sacrifice for others.

Romans 12:10

“Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.”The Good News: Paul exhorts the Christians in Rome to love and support one another, just as we should do today.

1 Peter 4:8-10

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace."The Good News: When in doubt, show your friends love as much as possible.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."The Good News: When in doubt, encourage your friends.

If you are blessed to have these types of friendships please know they are harder and harder to find maintain and keep so cherish them call them today and check in on them it's needed. If you are looking for them because you don't have them or have recently moved and our in new communities like I am let's NOT WAIT for them to come to us may we instead fervently pray for God to show us who we can begin to form these types of friendships with in the communities we are currently in.

Until Next Time,

Glory be to God,

Cindy Bolt

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